Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Our fear of being vulnerable keeps us in a cage. A cage of our own making. This is perhaps the worst kind.
I'm a stubborn person. I also tend to be independent. It is my core instinct to retreat when I'm struggling. To "protect" people from my problems. To push through it myself. Logically I know this is wrong and unhealthy. Psh that's half the reason I started this blog in the first place. Truth is I don't know if this is something I will be able to change. I know. I know I should. I know I'll try. But the act of admitting. Of letting someone know you aren't ok. Allowing them to see you at your weakest takes trust. I lack this. It requires you to be truly vulnerable. Again. I suck at this.
Being vulnerable. It goes against our nature. It defies those "laws" of, we subconsciously accept our whole lives. Being vulnerable is dangerous. It's scary. If you open yourself up to be hurt then you will be hurt. This should be avoided at all costs ect ect ect. Basic self preservation.
What is it about vulnerability that we find so frightening? So terrible? When we are vulnerable we are sharing us. Our raw selves. Who we truly are at our core. Most of the time this part of us is kept hidden and protected by many many walls that very few are privileged enough to break through. Peel those layers away and the most treasured part of our being is left out for others to step on, belittle, pick apart, and disprove of. This. Is. Terrifying. But hey if someone steps on your stuff and you don't want them to. Put it on the table. Don't leave it on the floor. Elevate it to a place where it can be looked at. Seen and in plain view. Yet out of reach.
Easier said then done. But worth it. Open the cage.